How you start will show how they finish!

Went to dinner at PF Changs last week.  There was an hour or so wait, but it was cool.  As me and the wife waited in the seating area, there was a large party also waiting to be seated.  An older man and woman were sitting in the waiting are when a young girl around 13 came and squeezed in next to them.  She sat realclose to my wife, but didn't say excuse me. While sometimes children can be rude, you half expect the adults to correct them.  Nope! But hey, we just looked at each other and said maybe it's cultural.  

Fast forward three minutes and the little girls brother comes and starts leaning on her as she is trying to sit.  He's around 12 years old, so they obviously have some close sibling dislike for each other. As he is leaning on her, she is pushing back and they are both bumping into my wife.  We ease over some since the adults are both engrossed in their cellphones to correct this nonsense.  Suddenly, the young man turns toward his sister, raises up and swings a HARD overhand right into the top of her head! Every one in the waiting area jumped and looked in shock.  The adults tell the young man stop doing that, and go back to there phones.  The girl gets up and runs to the lobby area trying to get away from the embarrassment before she starts to cry.

Two minutes later, the Mother comes back to the waiting area (I had thought the adults that were sitting were the parents, but they were an Uncle and a great Aunt). She asks the boy what happened, and he said she hit me first. The Mother states "if you do that again, I will get your Father" and then walks away!  I am in shock!  Let's review how much damage was done by the adults here....

1) By not making the children at least be cognizant of the fact that they were being rude, you have reinforced the idea that they don't have to care about how there actions affect other people.  As adults, they will be the same self centered asses that you complain about at work.

2) By not immediately correcting the violence that was perpetrated toward the young lady, you created some horrible precepts for the rest of her life.  If you are physically attacked by a man, and you run to your mother, she will only half support you and let the man place some of the blame on you.  You can be embarrassed dear, but no one will really come to your rescue.  When her husband or boyfriend is whooping her behind regularly, you can go back to this point right here (and probably others as this is probably a pattern of the household).

3) By allowing the young man to get away with this act, you have told him that violence against the weaker is an acceptable way to work out your issues.  Hit your sister as hard as you can, and nothing will happen.  Unfortunately, this young man may run into someone other than a parent to correct him, and that may not end well for him.  This is the start of the jerk of a guy women complain about.  

Let's support our children, raise our children, teach our children, correct our children....and love our children! It makes them better adults!

The Ignition Effect

Paula Deen screwed up!  She admitted that she used the word nigger.  She admitted that she had some antiquated beliefs about African-Americans.  She said this was who she was, and when she was raised this was the way of the world.  And then something crazy happened...BLACK FOLKS defended her!  See, she was the "Black" white lady, cooking with butter and greens and ham hocks and all that stuff that WE like.  So we rationalized her ignorance.  But we have had practice with this phenomenon.

Remember when R. Kelly was in a boat load of trouble?  They had confiscated his computers, marked his house as a crime scene.  And even in those days of the Internet, we ALL SAW the stuff he was doing with a girl who looked WAY younger than 18!  If you weren't tech savvy enough to see it in the privacy of your home (or were to scared to download child porn on your home computer!) you could see it at the Barbershop, back yard picnics, on your friend who didn't give a damns computer.  If you wanted proof that R. Kelly was messing with young girls, you didn't have to believe Sparkle and her radio interviews, or Ron Isley saying that Robert had some demons he need to pray about....you could just SEE IT!  Then, something crazy happened...You remind me of something... !  I remember when I first heard the joint; I was in the car with my best friend saying that ain't no way this cat come back from this, then this came on.  I was bouncing before the second verse.  R. Kelly was back, and we was waiting for the remix!  Me too!  Forget that he was a child molester, he was innocent until proven guilty!  Then he was acquitted!  Man, time to Step in the Name of Love and Freedom! 

Now Phil Robertson has done the goofy. He spoke what he believes are his truths...and who is rationalizing for him....Yep, Black Folks!  "He was set up with the question", "What do you expect from a 70 year old redneck?", "My grandaddy say some stuff that would get him in trouble too, leave him be!"   SMH!  This man just spewed enough ignorance about Blacks to pretty much set race relations back to Ronald Reagan days, but its OK, cuz he a Christian and his show is funny!  Paula Deen a Christian, and she cook good! R. Kelly a Christian and he make me bounce in the club! 

We gotta start making some hard decisions about who and what we support in this world, me included. I'll get around to working on it as soon as I watch Kobe drop 20 on one leg and listen to this new Chris Brown CD.  Really?

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere...even in 7-11!

So, if you know me, you know I can be a jerk...for a good reason.  This is one of those times. 

I walk into my local 7-11.  The store is completely staffed, regardless of time of day, by men and women of Indian descent.  This is no surprise.  They, as a people, have taken advantage of opening franchises of convenience stores, Subway sandwich shops and Dunkin' Donuts.  Great for them.  They are providing jobs for their community and building ownership for future generations.  Some of us could take notes!  But I digress.  When I enter, the young man working greets me with a hearty "Good Evening!"  It is a welcome to the store.  Good customer service.  I was in the store for a quick pickup of some Bar Be Que Sauce. I  reply, "How are you tonight?" He says fine and we go about our normal shopper, shopkeeper roles.

In walks an older short, Caucasian man who looks as if he may be of Italian-American descent.  He is greeted with the same hearty "Good Evening!"  He replies with a mocking "Good Evening" with his best fake sounding, Apu from the Simpsons, Indian accent.  He is proud of himself.  He even smiles a bit as if he has really done something funny.   I AM PISSED! 

I walk around the store until the older, short Italian-American man is ready to go, and I jump in front of him in line.  as the shopkeeper asks if I found everything, I break out my best Donnie Brascoe "Fuhget about it! It's friggin' great your store ova here!"  The short Italian-American is now PISSED!  His face is as red as Ditka's last Monday night!  I turn to him and say, "Sucks don't it.  This man has to take it to from you because he wants your money.  I don't!  Not so funny, huh?"

This guy is now livid, but he's like 5'6" and I'm all of 6'4" and three spins. He just mumbles something under his breath and stood there.  I paid for my Bar Be Que sauce and left, a little happier then when I went in the store. 

What will they say?

Pearl white clouds against a deep azure sky, the golden remnants of day begin to fade as the moon and stars conspire to converse with the clouds of the Suns comings and goings.

I wrote that line/poem/verse over twenty years ago after attending a funeral. I had forgotten it until I woke up early today to watch Nelson Mandela be laid to rest.  I realized a Sun had set, and all that was left was the golden remnants of freedom against the deep backdrop of South Africa.  I saw over one hundred heads of state there to converse with those who will remain in South Africa of the great heights this man had achieved.  Talk about your stars.  

What will the stars at my funeral speak about? What stars will even show up? It doesn't matter. What matters is what will the people I leave behind say about me in the months after I am gone. What will they think of me in the years after I have left? What will my name mean to those who hear it in the next century? 

I pray that I will do enough to matter to someone. I pray that I can be a portion of what Mr. Mandela was. Thank you for the light you shined in your day, the heat you brought to a cold land, the shade you cast on an unforgiving world. May we talk about that day for eternity!

Not the Day or Conversation any parent wants to have

As a parent, you kinda know there are gonna be some days and conversations that you will have to have whether you want to or not.  The birds and bees talk, the first time your child gets there heart broke, a college rejection letter. You know these are coming, and a good parent doesn't get caught off guard by these more than once. Today, I have to have one of those days that as a parent, I knew was coming, but I really wish I didn't have to.

My oldest son is 22. (He is my ex wife's son, but I raised him so...). Yesterday at his job, two police officers entered his place of employment and talked to him and his boss. He owns an umbrella that kinda looks like a samurai sword. The police had stopped him a week before to question him about it.  Now they were at his job.  

My son is not a thug.  He is an artist.  The kinda kid who is more prone to change his hair color than sag his pants.  But he is black...and he lives in the suburbs...and he is now being profiled and it sucks. So I have to tell him today that he has to be careful.  He has to watch what he does. He has to understand that everything he does will be looked at through little black boy glasses. And he has to find a way to rise above all of that. 

In this country, where everybody was soooo sad about losing Nelson Mandela, I have to explain to my 22 year old son something that I unfortunately have been socialized to know.  Son, you will be followed in stores, you will be pulled over when you drive, you will be profiled, people will think you are a rapper when you really enjoy EMO, women will grab there purses and cross the street when you walk by, and yes the police will think it's ok to come to your job and harass you.  

I hate that I have accepted this truth, and hate more that I have to have this talk with my son.  Not a day that wanted to come, but a day I knew was coming.

Been told I should blog, so let's see...

Soooo, I am new to this blogging thing.  But I love to write and I love to share my opinion. And I have an opinion about almost everything! So let's see how this goes.  First thought, why would I win the Big Ten championship if I am Michigan State.  If Ohio State wins, they have to split the big check they would get from the National Championship game. I they loose, they go to a smaller Bowl with a smaller check.  Less money for all the schools in the Big Ten. How do you ensure that the Big Ten officials in the game don't make sure that the team that will bring more money to the conference won't win the game? I'm just saying that no other business in the world would allow this type of conflict to exist. Another reason why college athletics are shady!